Beer. When I hear
that word, I picture an unkempt man sitting on the couch wearing a white
t-shirt, jeans riddled with holes, one hand patting his protruding belly, the
other holding a can of Budweiser. The
mere word alerts all of my senses. It
causes my nostrils to swell with the sweet stank of rotting bread, my ears hear
the pop of the can being opened and then a refreshing “whoosh” as the bubbles
settle, and my eyes envision a sickly yellow liquid, a yellow that looks as if
the liquid has already been digested. As
you can probably tell, I don’t like beer.
I never have and probably never will.
Yet I do enjoy trying new things, so when I was asked to a beer pairing
dinner, I said “yes”. And in my head I
said “beer?” Yes, beer.
Not knowing anything about a beer pairing dinner or more
specifically this beer pairing dinner, I arrived with my husband at the hotel
in casual jeans and a button up shirt.
The event had a “speakeasy” theme, so we walked around the back, past
the rotting trash in the dumpsters, to the back door where a man was waiting
for us to deliver the secret password.
Of course, the husband forgot the password, but the man let us in
anyway. We walked down what felt to be a
very long, dark hallway lined with hotel staff that stared at us. One of them called out at the husband, “Are
you a cop?” Everyone laughed. I can’t imagine how nerve-racking a real
speakeasy must have been.
We joined a friend when we finally got through the long
hallway and we found seats at a table with three other couples, all of whom were dressed up far more than we were. Before dinner was served, the owner of the
brewing company gave a speech, one of the hotel staff gave a speech, the owner
of an art gallery sponsoring the event gave a speech, and then the chef gave a
speech. By the time they were all
finished, I think we were all starving and I felt that I needed a drink – even
if it was beer.
Course 1: Pilsner paired with fried avocado and salted
sardines. Our friend said, “It looks
like a Corona.” She took a sip and said,
“Tastes like a Corona.” I usually can’t
get past the smell of beer, so have never really tasted it before. I took a little sip. It wasn’t bad – a little sweet, with a bitter
aftertaste. If it wasn’t for the
aftertaste, it wouldn’t have been bad. A
pilsner is supposedly a light beer, but it didn’t taste light to me, so I
worried what was to come. Fried avocado
tastes like an interesting culinary experiment that may have been the result of
an accident. Maybe the avocado fell into
a bowl of bread crumbs and somehow ended up in the fryer? It had a crunchy outer shell, but the avocado
was practically cream in the middle. The
husband said, “This could have been fried anything. Can’t really taste the avocado.” This was true; however, the salty sardines
overpowered the avocado any way. I
braced myself for the salty little fish, but it actually wasn’t bad. It had a less salty sauce sprinkled around
the plate and honestly made the pilsner more bearable.
Course 2: Amber Ale paired with Blue Cheese on Toast. This was a complicated beer. It tasted as if it couldn’t decide if it was
sweet or bitter. Even though it was
disgusting, I kept sipping it to try and figure out what it tasted like. The blue cheese on toast was equally
disgusting and didn’t help the taste of the beer. Rotting moldy cheese does not help the flavor
of fermented hops.
Course 3: La Roja paired with African Barbecue Chicken
Skewer. If the Amber Ale was
complicated, La Roja should be in therapy.
I only took one sip to know that this beer was a deeper more complicated
version of the Amber Ale. I didn’t taste
it any more than that. The African
Barbecue sauce was very good – spicy with a strong vinegary taste, so powerful
that I wish I had more chicken meat and less chicken gristle to sop it up. I noticed everyone at our table ate all of
the chicken very quickly and the glasses of the deep red La Roja remained
untouched. The waiter eventually came by
to remove the full glass as we could only have two glasses of alcohol per
person at one time. Everyone gave these
glasses up without a fight.
Course 4: Café con Leche paired with Braised Beef Short
Ribs. This was the course that everyone
was anxious to sample. A coffee and milk
beer? Really? The beer itself was a stout, a rich, deep
brown color that reminded me of chocolate.
I was skeptical about a beer that claimed to have flavors that I
normally enjoy, so I sipped carefully.
It wasn’t bad. It did have coffee
and milk undertones, but it was still beer.
It still had a bitter aftertaste.
The ribs had excellent flavor, reminiscent of the beer they were braised
in, but without the bitter aftertaste.
They complimented the beer nicely.
Unfortunately, I again had more fat than meat on my plate. It was the
end of the meal and I just didn’t want any more beer. I noticed that most
people drank this beer though, so it must have been a sweet end to the meal
even if there was no dessert.
Yes, beer. I tried
it, but next time I think I will say no thank you to a beer pairing
dinner. Now a wine pairing dinner, that’s
another story!
