Yes, Beer

Beer.  When I hear that word, I picture an unkempt man sitting on the couch wearing a white t-shirt, jeans riddled with holes, one hand patting his protruding belly, the other holding a can of Budweiser.  The mere word alerts all of my senses.  It causes my nostrils to swell with the sweet stank of rotting bread, my ears hear the pop of the can being opened and then a refreshing “whoosh” as the bubbles settle, and my eyes envision a sickly yellow liquid, a yellow that looks as if the liquid has already been digested.  As you can probably tell, I don’t like beer.  I never have and probably never will.  Yet I do enjoy trying new things, so when I was asked to a beer pairing dinner, I said “yes”.  And in my head I said “beer?”  Yes, beer.

Not knowing anything about a beer pairing dinner or more specifically this beer pairing dinner, I arrived with my husband at the hotel in casual jeans and a button up shirt.  The event had a “speakeasy” theme, so we walked around the back, past the rotting trash in the dumpsters, to the back door where a man was waiting for us to deliver the secret password.  Of course, the husband forgot the password, but the man let us in anyway.  We walked down what felt to be a very long, dark hallway lined with hotel staff that stared at us.  One of them called out at the husband, “Are you a cop?”   Everyone laughed.  I can’t imagine how nerve-racking a real speakeasy must have been.

We joined a friend when we finally got through the long hallway and we found seats at a table with three other couples, all of whom were dressed up far more than we were.  Before dinner was served, the owner of the brewing company gave a speech, one of the hotel staff gave a speech, the owner of an art gallery sponsoring the event gave a speech, and then the chef gave a speech.  By the time they were all finished, I think we were all starving and I felt that I needed a drink – even if it was beer.

Course 1: Pilsner paired with fried avocado and salted sardines.  Our friend said, “It looks like a Corona.”  She took a sip and said, “Tastes like a Corona.”  I usually can’t get past the smell of beer, so have never really tasted it before.  I took a little sip.  It wasn’t bad – a little sweet, with a bitter aftertaste.  If it wasn’t for the aftertaste, it wouldn’t have been bad.  A pilsner is supposedly a light beer, but it didn’t taste light to me, so I worried what was to come.  Fried avocado tastes like an interesting culinary experiment that may have been the result of an accident.  Maybe the avocado fell into a bowl of bread crumbs and somehow ended up in the fryer?  It had a crunchy outer shell, but the avocado was practically cream in the middle.  The husband said, “This could have been fried anything.  Can’t really taste the avocado.”  This was true; however, the salty sardines overpowered the avocado any way.  I braced myself for the salty little fish, but it actually wasn’t bad.  It had a less salty sauce sprinkled around the plate and honestly made the pilsner more bearable.

Course 2: Amber Ale paired with Blue Cheese on Toast.  This was a complicated beer.  It tasted as if it couldn’t decide if it was sweet or bitter.  Even though it was disgusting, I kept sipping it to try and figure out what it tasted like.  The blue cheese on toast was equally disgusting and didn’t help the taste of the beer.  Rotting moldy cheese does not help the flavor of fermented hops.

Course 3: La Roja paired with African Barbecue Chicken Skewer.  If the Amber Ale was complicated, La Roja should be in therapy.  I only took one sip to know that this beer was a deeper more complicated version of the Amber Ale.  I didn’t taste it any more than that.  The African Barbecue sauce was very good – spicy with a strong vinegary taste, so powerful that I wish I had more chicken meat and less chicken gristle to sop it up.  I noticed everyone at our table ate all of the chicken very quickly and the glasses of the deep red La Roja remained untouched.  The waiter eventually came by to remove the full glass as we could only have two glasses of alcohol per person at one time.  Everyone gave these glasses up without a fight.

Course 4: Café con Leche paired with Braised Beef Short Ribs.  This was the course that everyone was anxious to sample.  A coffee and milk beer?  Really?  The beer itself was a stout, a rich, deep brown color that reminded me of chocolate.  I was skeptical about a beer that claimed to have flavors that I normally enjoy, so I sipped carefully.  It wasn’t bad.  It did have coffee and milk undertones, but it was still beer.  It still had a bitter aftertaste.  The ribs had excellent flavor, reminiscent of the beer they were braised in, but without the bitter aftertaste.  They complimented the beer nicely.  Unfortunately, I again had more fat than meat on my plate. It was the end of the meal and I just didn’t want any more beer. I noticed that most people drank this beer though, so it must have been a sweet end to the meal even if there was no dessert.

Yes, beer.  I tried it, but next time I think I will say no thank you to a beer pairing dinner.  Now a wine pairing dinner, that’s another story!