Pick your Patty Porch Party

Many birthdays ago I decided that it would be great fun to have a Party where all of the food started with a “P”.  I dreamt uP an entire theme where guests could Pick their Patty: hamburger, turkey, Pork, chicken – basically a cook out with a twist. When work was comPleted on our brand new Porch/Patio, the husband and I thought it was the Perfect oPPortunity to have a Party and it just haPPened to coincide with my birthday.  And what did I want for my birthday?  A Pick your Patty Porch Party!

Of course, having so many choices of Patties was unrealistic (and costly!) so the husband and I decided to offer hamburger and turkey Patties for burgers.  We also grilled Peaches marinated in lemon juice, olive oil, cinnamon, and PePPer.  The sweet and tangy flavor revived the turkey burgers from tasting too healthy.

As Promised, our guests rose to the occasion quite creatively and brought a range of dishes that all startedwith a “P”.  We had Pork and Beans, Potato ChiPs, PePPered Vegetable Salad, Pasta Salad, Pickles, and PoP and Peach tea to drink. And for dessert we had Pudding Cake and Party Cake (aka birthday cake).  All of the food was amazing!  The Pick your Patty Porch Party was the Perfect way to celebrate our new porch and my birthday.

Thank you to all the PeoPle who not only Put uP with my Peculiar (and sometimes Pedestrian) Plans, but also ParticiPate in them.  I love you all!  I Pontificated on the Everything Starts with “ P” theme for a long time before it became a reality.  I’m not sure if I’ll be able to toP it.

Mozzarella Sticks Just Because

When thinking about writing this post, I realized that I didn’t even know how to spell “mozzarella”.  I had to

look it up!  Then I realized that I really don’t know how to spell the names of most of cheeses.  Gorgonzola? Parmesan? (I can spell “American,” “Pepper Jack,” and even “Swiss,” so I’m not a complete lost cause!) Give me a break.  I’ve been allergic to cheese most of my life and have never had a reason to learn how to spell, pronounce, or understand any of its variations.  In restaurants, I ask politely, “Can I get that without cheese?”  If the answer is “no,” I order something else and move on.

The husband and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings this week (another first for me) and the waitress brought us a basket of Mozzarella Sticks.  We told her that we didn’t order them, but she put them on our table anyway and said “There’s no charge.” We were so surprised that I think we both asked “Why?”  When I realized how rude that sounded, I followed up with “Just because?”  She smiled and shrugged as she said “Just because.”

If it weren’t for “just because,” I never would have tried a cheese stick.  I’m glad that I tried it, but my overall reaction is simply confusion.  The outer fried part of the cheese stick tastes like your typical fried anything.  It reminded me of fried zucchini – that crunchy Italian seasoned bread crumb exterior – that makes you not care what’s in the middle.  I’m glad that the exterior made me not care.  Mozzarella doesn’t really taste like anything to me, so I don’t dislike it.  How can one hate the taste of nothing?  Especially if that nothing is coated in yummy bread crumbs and then deep fat fried?  No wonder Fair food is so popular.  If we could fry air, I’m sure that we would.  That might be preferable to a rubbery, chewy glob – I’m not sure.

But this confusion could stem from a lack of sophistication on my part.  Perhaps because my taste buds have never known the taste of cheese until recently, I simply don’t understand or perhaps my mind needs time to catch up with my taste buds to process it.  The sad thing is that when the waitress first said, “mozzarella,” I thought of the Real Housewives of New Jersey.  They are always talking about homemade mozzarella and how divine it is.  The cast is shown eating and savoring it like it is a delicacy.  Sophistication aside, this makes me think that there must be something to it.  And so I won’t write it off yet. Maybe I just need to try it in a different way, a way that is not mass produced and deep fat fried.

                                           

Bangers and Mash

The husband is a huge fan of Bangers and Mash.  If we go to an Irish Pub, I don’t even have to ask what he is ordering.  Because he orders this dish whenever he has the opportunity, I consider him somewhat of an expert.  (In fact, he should probably be the one writing this post.)

Even though the husband loves this dish and adores St. Patrick’s Day, we decided to avoid the crowds and craziness the holiday can bring and stayed in to concoct our own version of Bangers and Mash.  We both have a bit of Irish blood in the veins and hoped that we could channel some of our ancestry into our culinary experiment.  I can’t speak for the husband or his expert taste buds, but I wasn’t disappointed.

We found a recipe for Bangers of Mash, but didn’t follow it exactly.  (It’s rare that I actually follow a recipe!) Keep in mind that I used my own recipe for the mashed potatoes and for the gravy I substituted half water and half beef broth and didn't use any type of browning sauce.

We started with the mashed potatoes by cutting the potatoes into cubes and boiling them in water just like my mom taught me to do all those years ago making Thanksgiving dinner.   Of course, back then I was allergic to potatoes and couldn’t taste the progress of the dish.  It’s always been a mystery how I got to be in charge of making the mashed potatoes when I had no idea how they turned out.  All of that practice paid off though.  We used chicken broth instead of milk, which added a bit of a savory, salty flavor.  We splurged and used real butter though and I think this is the key to smooth mashed potatoes.  I’ve never used real butter in mashed potatoes before and so they had never come out quite so smooth before.  They even tasted smooth.

While the potatoes were cooking, we grilled Sweet Italian Sausages in a skillet.  I wish that I could have found English Sausages, but they were not in any of the stores that I went to.  I think the Italian Sausages were a good substitute, but according to the husband and expert Bangers and Mash orderer, they were a bit spicier and sweeter than English Sausages.  I don’t believe I have ever tried an English Sausage, so I wouldn’t know the difference.  Maybe next year I can find the right ingredient.

Although, in my opinion, the type of sausage wasn’t crucial to the dish.  We made a Brown Butter Onion

Gravy that added just enough salt and savory to the already delicious mashed potatoes.  The gravy was so surprisingly delicious that I honestly forgot about the sausage. Of course, the was also made out of butter, so I guess it shouldn’t have been so surprising. This was also my first attempt at a butter based gravy – rich, creamy, and smooth.

If there is a moral to this culinary experiment, it would have to be that butter creates a smooth delicious flavor whether in mashed potatoes or in gravy.  While the dish was relatively easy to make, I think I will reserve that delicious smooth richness (and all of those fat grams from sausage and butter) for St. Patrick’s Day.

To be continued next year with English Sausage….

The Case of the White Velvet Cake

I can never do anything the easy way.  Buy a cake from the bakery?  While I love them, where is the challenge in that? Buy a cake mix from the store?  Oh no, that would be too easy.  Instead, for the husband’s birthday, I decided to make him a “White Velvet Cake” from scratch.  I showed him the picture of the cake next to the recipe before I started baking and he agreed whole heartedly in favor of this being his birthday cake.

No pressure, right?  Keep in mind that I’m still learning to use ingredients like butter, eggs, and white chocolate, especially in baked goods.  Butter is a completely different consistency than butter-flavored Crisco.  It has to be slightly melted and softened before it can be added to the flour mixture of the cake batter.  Oh, how I miss Crisco!  You could just dump it right in the bowl without any preparation.  If only they would make a soy free version!  And then there are the eggs – the saving grace for any cake – they help the cake rise and give it a moist fluffiness that no substitute can quite create.  I’m glad that I’m no longer allergic to these simple miracles, so that I can experiment with cake making.  Finally, the white chocolate, which is another ingredient I’ve grown to love.  For the cake, it had to be melted, slightly cooled, and then slowly added to the batter.  This was a challenge because it couldn’t get too hard in the cooling stage or it wouldn’t mix with the batter.  Somehow the timing worked out though.

I only came across one real snag when mixing the ingredients: I realized that I didn’t have any sour cream. I never buy sour cream because I typically still buy groceries that are dairy free unless there is something special I’m planning to make as in the case of the White Velvet Cake.  Somehow I forgot, so when I came upon the line in the recipe to add it to the batter, I panicked.  Should I skip it altogether?  Is there a substitute that might work?  I had some applesauce, but would that make it taste like apples?  All of these questions quickly raced through my head before I decided to Google “sour cream substitutes” and discovered that yogurt is the best substitute.  Too bad I didn’t have any of that either.  I also found that buttermilk and butter could be used.  And no, I didn’t have any buttermilk, but I normally substitute almond milk mixed with apple cider vinegar for this ingredient, so I thought I would give it a try.  Unfortunately, I forgot to melt/soften the butter and it didn’t mix well with the liquid.  My husband gave it his best shot as I mixed the other ingredients, but it was not meant to be.  So…I ended up using most of the liquid and some of the butter that mixed in just so the cake wouldn’t be too dry.  At this point I wished that I had bought that cake mix at the store!

Long story short: the cake looked beautiful and golden in the pans until I removed them from the pans (and yes, I did grease and flour them).  Parts of the cake stuck, which made frosting the cake a little more difficult as cake mixed in with the icing.  But the frosting  actually made the cake.  Without the icing on top of the cake, it wouldn’t have been worth eating.  I made a White Chocolate Cream Cheese Frosting as the original recipe recommended.  It was delicious and made me change my negative thoughts toward cream cheese frosting.  Add white chocolate and it is a masterpiece!

The cake itself was dry and didn’t really taste much different than a dry white or even yellow cake.  Where was the white chocolate taste when I went to all of that effort adding it to the batter?  Maybe the lack of sour cream messed up the consistency?  (I looked at comments on Pinterest and noticed that other people complained of the dryness too and I’m pretty sure they didn’t make up a sour cream substitute!) 

The case of the cake will continue as I search for better recipes that are moist and fluffy.  Maybe I should keep it simple and stick to white or yellow cake recipes.  No, you’re right; that would be too easy.

 

Yes, Beer

Beer.  When I hear that word, I picture an unkempt man sitting on the couch wearing a white t-shirt, jeans riddled with holes, one hand patting his protruding belly, the other holding a can of Budweiser.  The mere word alerts all of my senses.  It causes my nostrils to swell with the sweet stank of rotting bread, my ears hear the pop of the can being opened and then a refreshing “whoosh” as the bubbles settle, and my eyes envision a sickly yellow liquid, a yellow that looks as if the liquid has already been digested.  As you can probably tell, I don’t like beer.  I never have and probably never will.  Yet I do enjoy trying new things, so when I was asked to a beer pairing dinner, I said “yes”.  And in my head I said “beer?”  Yes, beer.

Not knowing anything about a beer pairing dinner or more specifically this beer pairing dinner, I arrived with my husband at the hotel in casual jeans and a button up shirt.  The event had a “speakeasy” theme, so we walked around the back, past the rotting trash in the dumpsters, to the back door where a man was waiting for us to deliver the secret password.  Of course, the husband forgot the password, but the man let us in anyway.  We walked down what felt to be a very long, dark hallway lined with hotel staff that stared at us.  One of them called out at the husband, “Are you a cop?”   Everyone laughed.  I can’t imagine how nerve-racking a real speakeasy must have been.

We joined a friend when we finally got through the long hallway and we found seats at a table with three other couples, all of whom were dressed up far more than we were.  Before dinner was served, the owner of the brewing company gave a speech, one of the hotel staff gave a speech, the owner of an art gallery sponsoring the event gave a speech, and then the chef gave a speech.  By the time they were all finished, I think we were all starving and I felt that I needed a drink – even if it was beer.

Course 1: Pilsner paired with fried avocado and salted sardines.  Our friend said, “It looks like a Corona.”  She took a sip and said, “Tastes like a Corona.”  I usually can’t get past the smell of beer, so have never really tasted it before.  I took a little sip.  It wasn’t bad – a little sweet, with a bitter aftertaste.  If it wasn’t for the aftertaste, it wouldn’t have been bad.  A pilsner is supposedly a light beer, but it didn’t taste light to me, so I worried what was to come.  Fried avocado tastes like an interesting culinary experiment that may have been the result of an accident.  Maybe the avocado fell into a bowl of bread crumbs and somehow ended up in the fryer?  It had a crunchy outer shell, but the avocado was practically cream in the middle.  The husband said, “This could have been fried anything.  Can’t really taste the avocado.”  This was true; however, the salty sardines overpowered the avocado any way.  I braced myself for the salty little fish, but it actually wasn’t bad.  It had a less salty sauce sprinkled around the plate and honestly made the pilsner more bearable.

Course 2: Amber Ale paired with Blue Cheese on Toast.  This was a complicated beer.  It tasted as if it couldn’t decide if it was sweet or bitter.  Even though it was disgusting, I kept sipping it to try and figure out what it tasted like.  The blue cheese on toast was equally disgusting and didn’t help the taste of the beer.  Rotting moldy cheese does not help the flavor of fermented hops.

Course 3: La Roja paired with African Barbecue Chicken Skewer.  If the Amber Ale was complicated, La Roja should be in therapy.  I only took one sip to know that this beer was a deeper more complicated version of the Amber Ale.  I didn’t taste it any more than that.  The African Barbecue sauce was very good – spicy with a strong vinegary taste, so powerful that I wish I had more chicken meat and less chicken gristle to sop it up.  I noticed everyone at our table ate all of the chicken very quickly and the glasses of the deep red La Roja remained untouched.  The waiter eventually came by to remove the full glass as we could only have two glasses of alcohol per person at one time.  Everyone gave these glasses up without a fight.

Course 4: Café con Leche paired with Braised Beef Short Ribs.  This was the course that everyone was anxious to sample.  A coffee and milk beer?  Really?  The beer itself was a stout, a rich, deep brown color that reminded me of chocolate.  I was skeptical about a beer that claimed to have flavors that I normally enjoy, so I sipped carefully.  It wasn’t bad.  It did have coffee and milk undertones, but it was still beer.  It still had a bitter aftertaste.  The ribs had excellent flavor, reminiscent of the beer they were braised in, but without the bitter aftertaste.  They complimented the beer nicely.  Unfortunately, I again had more fat than meat on my plate. It was the end of the meal and I just didn’t want any more beer. I noticed that most people drank this beer though, so it must have been a sweet end to the meal even if there was no dessert.

Yes, beer.  I tried it, but next time I think I will say no thank you to a beer pairing dinner.  Now a wine pairing dinner, that’s another story!

Life and a Box of Chocolates

Forest Gump said that “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”   I always thought that was so simple, yet so true.  While I understood the philosophical nature of the statement, I never really understood the surface of it.  As a child I remember being so in awe of what I considered a fancy box of chocolates.  Sure, they were probably from Walgreens, wrapped in white paper with a gold bow painted on the top, but I thought the entire box was beautiful, each chocolate a mystery waiting to be solved.  Unfortunately, I was forbidden to solve any of those mysteries, forbidden to taste any of what I imagined to be gooey centers…until now!

Sure, most chocolates have soy lecithin in them as a preservative, but now that the milk allergy is gone, I feel a little splurging is necessary, especially at Christmas time.  I can finally solve some of those mysteries I’ve always been curious about.  My first chocolate did come out of a box just like I described above.  It was delicious: dark chocolate on the outside and a gooey caramel filling.  Yum.  I was at work, so I didn’t have time to savor or to think of a proper description, but “yum” seems to do the job.  I also tried one with a coconut filling that was so good that I had to try another one, so I picked a big square.  Maybe I got a bit greedy picking the biggest chocolate in the box, so I shouldn’t have been surprised that it was terrible!  It had what I think was toffee in the center.  It was so hard that I couldn’t even bite through it!  I ended up sucking all the chocolate off the top and then throwing the rest in the trash can. Now I completely understand the “you never know what you’re gonna get” part of the quote.  I really had no idea that some of the chocolates might actually be unpleasant (at least to my taste buds).

My husband brought home another box of Belgian chocolates that was wrapped in gold paper with a sheer fabric bow on the top.  It was really wrapped like a present!  When I finally tore through the paper, there was more wrapping and plastic covering on the inside.  I was surprised to find a paper guide to the chocolates inside.  This completely went against the quote!  There was a picture of the chocolate and a description of what the chocolate was.  Sure, this took a little bite out of the mystery, but created another one altogether.  I read the descriptions and then tried to decide which one I wanted to taste.  The mystery came in when I tried to decide if it actually tasted like the description.  The first one I chose was described as “dark chocolate with a cherry center” with a picture of a small round, dark chocolate.  Once I found the chocolate meeting this description, I pulled it out of the box and sunk my teeth in.  I searched for the cherry, but didn’t find one.  I was a bit disappointed, but I didn’t give up!  I chose another one that claimed it was “white chocolate with a creamy lemon filling.”  This description didn’t disappoint!  It was exactly that, but I was surprised at how lemony the filling actually was.  Delicious!

The moral of the story?  Even if you think know what you’re “gonna get,” you might actually get something entirely different, maybe better, maybe worse.  And so, the quote still holds true.  Whether you have a description or an idea of what you think the outcome is going to be, “Life is like a box of chocolates.”

Holy Cannoli and Calzones!

I spent Saturday evening (about a month ago now) listening to the NM Philharmonic Orchestra play the fantastic music of John Williams.  He created the music for Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and even Far and Away just to name a few.  After our ears and hearts were full of his inspiring melodies, my husband and I needed to fill our stomachs before the growling echoed the booming timpani.  We headed over to Saggio’s where we both ordered calzones and cannoli.

These were both firsts for me, so I wasn’t sure what to expect.  The calzones were massive!  If we had known how big they were, we would have only ordered one and split it.  The Four Meat Calzones consisted of pepperoni, Italian beef, bacon, and sausage with pesto, ricotta, and mozzarella with your choice of bread.  I chose the traditional, while the husband chose the rosemary.  There were a lot of flavors going on within my simple crust – spicy sausage and pepperoni, a soothing mozzarella, and a sweet pesto.  It was almost like a circus going from one flavor to the next, one big ring performance to the next, and yet they all combined nicely for an excellent experience.   However, for me this was only achieved by taking out all of the ricotta. I don’t like the texture of this cheese and honestly, with so many other things and tastes going on, the calzone didn’t need it.

And then for dessert!  Holy cannoli, Batman!  I know that John Williams did not write any of the themes for Batman, but after listening to the themes for super heroes all night, this is what came to mind.  The cannoli is a scavenger hunt for the tastebuds.  It is deliciously sweet, but mysterious as it is difficult to place the sweet flavors.  Cannoli is basically a really thin crispy rolled cookie that is filled with a sweet cheese.  I knew it was cheese and yet it tasted nothing like the cheese I have tasted.  I’m pretty sure that I tasted something citrus – orange, lemon, maybe zest?  There was also a hint of cinnamon and just a few chocolate chips.  I’m not sure that I named all the flavors on my scavenger hunt, but it was sure fun trying to find them.

A seemingly simple evening started with the symphony, turned into a circus, and ended with a scavenger hunt.  We had no idea our evening would turn into such an event!